the glory that's eternal

i was contemplating about my recent resignation.

it was my 2nd company for 2008, the first being Lawson software which i joined just this January only.

everything was perfect. until i got bored. until i started feeling insecure. until i questioned about what will be my future in the company. because suddenly i stopped growing.

then i tendered my resignation. and i can say i'm at the peak of my friendship with all of the Batch 10. i know they love me. when i decided to leave, haydee cried. patrick and aaron said they will support me on whatever decisions i will make but they will for sure miss me. lester didn't want me to leave for he will lose somebody whom he can talk to about our common interest, that is, movies. RJ became more bitchy but i know he felt sad. Bebang didn't want to see me because she said she doesn't want to see me leave. Jem and Enid recorded the lowest EQ point in their history.

on my last day of work, they had so many surprises for me. i was so touched and of course, being a certified cry-baby, i cried. simply because i will miss them too for sure. they became my comfort zone. it's like i'm coming to office everyday to see my family. i'll miss the spontaneity of our funny conversations, the jokes we cracked out of nowhere. i'll miss the wit!

but... in the middle of the fun and comfort, subconsciously, i was all the while looking for the element of anxiety, challenge and a professional atmosphere.

i've been to that situation before... yeah, when i was still working at the bank. everybody became my friends, even my bosses and worse, my auditees. then it came to a point that i'm coming to office not because of work but simply because i want to chitchat with my friends.

moral of the story, anxiety serves as my fuel that will burn my creative juices.

i need anxiety. period. with anxiety to overcome, there is challenge.

so i decided to leave. while everything is perfect. i already reached my saturation point and i dont think i still have a room for growth. and sooner or later, i'll mess up and maybe start complaining that im not happy anymore.

so while there is still glory i'll plot my grandiose exit. hahaha!! that's an epicurian way of looking at it.

"but was it really?", i caught my conscience asking me.

i remember when i was in grade school, i read a short story and that's about a famous actress' mysterious death. everybody in the industry was so shocked upon hearing the news. she was at the peak of her success. the mystery was solved when the investigators found a suicide note. according to the actress... she was at her best and loved by so many and she would like to be remembered by the people as what she is when she ended her life. the investigators kept the note to themselves as respect to her wish.

a grandiose exit.

now i'm thinking if that's the best way to freeze your glory? makes sense. it's like "let's-preserve-the-butterfly-and-put-it-in-a-glass-jar-while-it's-still-colorful" kind of thing.

i also remember my MBA professor telling us about the case of Jollibee (Philippines' no. 1 fast-food chain, so they say). She said Jollibee is nearing a point of saturation. With 627 stores nationwide, i don't think they can still add up some more, unless they discover new strategic locations.

This is the point-of-no-return... when you have no more room for growth because you already reached your peak. you are now at your best! you already achieved your optimum!

if you find the word "bestest" in the dictionary then i'll retract my previous statement. :p

now if you were the actress what else will you do to maintain your glory? hmmm... maybe reinvent yourself? just like what madonna keeps on doing? sounds easy.. but risky.

after the news spread in the office, how ironic that i made additional friends... yup. last minute additional friends. suddenly they became nice to me and wished me well. the most touching scene was when i bade goodbye to my project manager. we just worked together in 2 projects and he said (drum-roll please..) it's sad that i'm leaving the company. he said he likes working with me and he thinks im one of the best in our batch. i was so touched. the catch is, before i started working with him i thought he was an asshole! hahaha!! sorry Sir! :D

was it my way of preserving my glory? or maybe not... that's another way of interpreting it.

i said, my new job is far more exciting and more compensating than Lawson. it's true that i will leave my friends behind, but my concept of friendship has gone mature.

as what i've told Momee Celes, i know myself. i know that i bring my friends with me as i carry on with my life. so no wories. :D

//mich
8.12.08
San Andres, Manila