sadness is underrated

yeah, it's underrated.

i experienced it myself. cried for almost 24 hours straight til i cant open my eyes anymore. in between the tears im mocking myself to let it all out till my tear duct runs dry, forced myself to promise not to cry anymore - this shall be the last.

it's underrated. when sad, you also feel fear, insecurity, self-pity. some say when you're sad, all you can see is black - thought this was just a figure of speech. but that's true. your tastebuds shut down, you feel numb, you can't move, you dont want to see light. because light is an insult to what you feel. someone said "we dont move on, we just get used to the pain." so true.

women, when offered a morsel and enjoyed it, that morsel becomes part of her. until he reveals that the morsel's intended for somebody else. is there anything more painful than that? darn.

then you run to your friends. you search for a good book, you try to discover a new music album, something new. if someone tells me that there's a new store that at least specializes in healing the bruises sustained by my heart, i'll dash off.

i told my friend who's gone through a painful breakup as well, and i shared this with her: maybe it was all written at the palm of your hands. that no matter how you evade it, it will definitely happen. it's part of your design. you were born with it. if it weren't that asshole, it could be somebody else. part of that pain, a lesson was supposed to be learned.

months ago, i kept on praying to Him: if things doesn't work as i love it to be, please God don't make it too painful. i guess He heard it. 24 hrs and lingering aftershocks that lasts until now.

i also thank God that He made me meet wonderful people in the midst of this exigency. people who keep on reminding me what my worth is. the secret to not feeling sad, according to joey, is knowing your value as a person. when you know your worth as a person, you'll be convinced that you deserve something else, if not more. so true.

i value other people's feelings. i know how to care. i can love. i am lovable. if you don't take me, good luck if you can find someone better. -- say this mantra everyday until you start feeling good.

but yeah, the pain still lingers, it stays. nothing you can do but to enjoy it, bathe in your misery and enjoy it while it lasts. because sadness, based on a recent study, makes a person more gullible, improves your ability to judge others and also boosts memory. not bad, eh?

as i end this, let me share with you my favorite sadness line:

"Sadness is easier because it's surrender. I say make time to dance alone with one hand waving free" -- Claire Colburn, Elizabethtown

let's dance and celebrate this roller coaster ride. :) until the next crying marathon!

/mich
san andres bukid
03.17.10